There’s a Reason “Love” and “Judge” Don’t Rhyme.

“Therefore there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” Romans 8:1.

“But you, why do you judge your brother? Or you again, why do you regard others with contempt? For we will all stand before the judgment seat of God.” Romans 14:10.

“Do not judge so that you will not be judged. For in the way you judge, you will be judged; and by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you.” Matthew 7:1-2.

“But Jesus went to the Mount of Olives.  Early in the morning He came again into the temple, and all the people were coming to Him; and He sat down and began to teach them.  The scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman caught in adultery, and having set her in the center of the court, they said to Him, “Teacher, this woman has been caught in adultery, in the very act.  “Now in the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women; what then do You say?”  They were saying this, testing Him, so that they might have grounds for accusing Him. But Jesus stooped down and with His finger wrote on the ground.  But when they persisted in asking Him, He straightened up, and said to them, “He who is without sin among you, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.” Again He stooped down and wrote on the ground.  When they heard it, they began to go out one by one, beginning with the older ones, and He was left alone, and the woman, where she was, in the center of the court.  Straightening up, Jesus said to her, “Woman, where are they? Did no one condemn you?”  She said, “No one, Lord.” And Jesus said, “I do not condemn you, either. Go. From now on sin no more.” John 8:1-11

These verses bless me so much because I always know that when others judge me; God looks at me with love.  When others emotionally “drag me to the center of town” to be condemned; Jesus’s sacrifice on the Cross literally covers me with forgiveness, mercy, and grace (Romans 4:7). His love is limitless, unhindered, uninhibited, and unchanged by the passage of time (Romans 8: 37-39). When I make mistakes, He forgives.  (I John 1:9) When I fall, He catches me and helps me to my feet again (Proverbs 24:16).   Through learning and embracing these teachings, I’ve realized that I’ve judged others, and I need to change.  It’s been something I’ve been working on the last few years as I’ve studied more about the sin and consequences of judgment toward others.

Growing up and into my early twenties, I was surrounded by evangelical legalism both at Church, at my Christian school ,and at the Christian colleges I visited and attended.   The form of legalism, which I lived in, involved rules for dress code, hair style, jewelry, tattoos, music style and choice, theater attendance, etc.  This legalism also made decisions about whether or not you could serve in church:  Are you divorced?  Sorry, we can’t use you.  Do you swim with people of the opposite sex or wear a swimsuit in public?  Sorry, you should know better.  Do you listen to secular music?  Well, that’s unfortunate because you are wrong.  Here are a few more real-life examples of the depth and breadth of the legalism, which surrounded me:

• One popular book which was read in my circle taught that a woman should submit to her husband even if what he asked her to do was wrong or illegal because God would protect her.  Multiple copies of this book were in the libraries of two popular colleges I visited.
• I had a friend whose father wouldn’t allow her to wear straight skirts because it revealed too much of her figure. I had friends who weren’t allowed to French braid their hair, get their ears pierced, or wear pants, even in the snow.
• I grew up around girls, who weren’t allowed to have Ken dolls, Cabbage Patch dolls, or Smurf toys.
• I was surrounded by many people who didn’t have televisions and who would never even walk into a movie theater or rent a video from a rental store.  Some of these families whom I knew when I was in elementary school actually had a ceremony together where they burned their television sets.
• One of my Pastors said that if any woman tried to attend a baby or wedding shower in the Fellowship Hall while wearing pants, he would stand at the door and ask her to leave, whether or not she was a church member.
• At least two of the popular Christian colleges in my circle collected your music at the beginning of the semester to approve it.  One of the colleges would put a sticker on the tape or CD if it was okay.  If it wasn’t approved, they would keep it until the end of the semester.  The other college was very specific.  As a teenager, I visited the campus and stayed in the dorm, one of the girls I stayed with in the dorm told me that they could listen to certain movie soundtracks as long as they skipped songs that weren’t instrumental.  She then rattled off the numbers of the songs they had to skip.
• Most of the Churches, Christian schools, and colleges I was in and around criticized and condemned any person who read or used a non-King James Version Bible.  I actually heard some people say that if you accepted Christ’s gift of salvation from reading any other version; you actually weren’t saved.

The most alienating part of the legalistic system I lived in was the judgments against anyone who disagreed with our group.  We weren’t “allowed” to fellowship with Churches that believed differently, not even to play softball!  As you can imagine, all of these rules, regulations, and judgments made things so that neither me nor anyone I knew could ever “measure up” completely; and most of us were exhausted and discouraged from trying and failing constantly, even if we would never admit it.  In the last 9 years, circumstances have occurred in my life which have caused me to study more, to pray more, and to seek God for answers out of my own desperation as I faced unbelievable challenges at every turn.  Through my questioning heart, I learned that God loves me and created me as a unique person, and that I did not have to strive for a perfection that I would never reach.  I’ve learned the meaning of freedom in Christ, and I’m blessed by the gift of His freedom in each new challenge that arises. I’ve learned that God isn’t impressed by all my good deeds and sacrifices–how many people I witnessed to, how many sick people I visited, whether or not I wear pants, how many casseroles I cooked, whether or not my ears are pierced, how many pages I read in my Bible, whether or not I have a television or attend a movie, how many services and Bible studies I attend in a given week; how many committees I serve on, how many showers and banquets I plan; whether or not my radio is tuned to the Christian station or oldies, how many children attend my Sunday School class; whether or not my CDs have an “approval” sticker, how many kids actually knew their memory verse and on and on and on. . .  I now realize that God only wants my love and devotion.  I don’t have to try to be good enough to earn His favor; I already have it because I’m His child!  God is not in Heaven checking off a man-made checklist or quota that I have to meet in order to be accepted.  I am accepted and loved just as I am (Yes, the song is right).  Please understand that I attend an evangelical Church in a different circle than how I was raised, that I share my faith, and that I serve and volunteer both in the community and in the Church; however, I don’t do these things to earn God’s favor or to gain approval from Him or others.  I serve God because I love Him.   Do I still love my brothers and sisters in Christ who remain in the same circle, which I left.  Yes, very much.  I love these precious people and fellowship with them online or in person as often as possible.  When we’re together, I will be wearing pants most of the time.  I guess we have an unspoken agreement to disagree on certain things.  God’s work in their hearts regarding their beliefs is His work not mine.  For these fellow-believers, I’m not worried about their relationship with God.  That’s God’s and their business not mine.  As to the Scriptural teaching regarding works, James, the brother of Jesus; addressed the topic in James 2:14-18  “What use is it, my brethren, if someone says he has faith but he has no works? Can that faith save him?  If a brother or sister is without clothing and in need of daily food, and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, be warmed and be filled,” and yet you do not give them what is necessary for their body, what use is that?  Even so faith, if it has no works, is dead, being by itself.  But someone may well say, “You have faith and I have works; show me your faith without the works, and I will show you my faith by my works.”

Through the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, James is explaining to the early Church that saying you are a Christian and never acting on your faith is wrong.  He is encouraging Christians to give to others and to love others as Christ did as a way of demonstrating that one’s faith in God is genuine and sincere.  To use a well-known cliché, he’s saying, “Talk is cheap.”  Talking about loving God while judging others and condemning them is ungodly.  Ignoring the needs of the weak and suffering is not acceptable to God.  You cannot “work your way” into Heaven by being good enough.  You can, however, live a life of active faith in which you love and give to others out of a heart that loves God so much that you feel compelled to live like Christ and see people as He did–with compassion and understanding.

**Important note regarding Bible Study**  The passage above may seem confusing, but if you read and study the entire passage, you will have a clearer understanding (See also Matthew 7, I John 3,  and John 15 for more information on the same topic).  Please remember to study these passages in context, meaning that you should read the entire chapter, if not the chapter before or after, in order to fully understand what the writer is saying.  One verse or phrase of Scripture picked out of a chapter and quoted or “hurled” at someone can be just as damaging as adding to what the Bible actually says.  For example, the book of Leviticus in the Old Testament is a guidebook for Jewish worship, rituals, and daily conduct for both priests and citizens.  This guidebook was written before Jesus came to earth to free all people from both the Jewish Law as well as the rules and rituals of other sects.  In the Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5), Jesus explains that He came to fulfill the Law because no one could possibly keep all the rules on his or her own.   If I pick just the first phrase from Leviticus 10:7, “You shall not even go out from the doorway of the tent of meeting, or you will die…,” I could believe this to say that if I ever leave the doorway of my Church (the Old Testament Jews did not have church, but rather a tent called The Tabernacle), then I’m dead!  However, if I read the entire chapter, I will realize that this verse and others like it are very specific rules set up for the Priests of Israel and do not apply to me as a 21st century Christian.  I encourage you to study the Bible contextually by studying the entire chapter, the chapters before and after the chapter you are studying and the entire book as time allows.  Pray for God’s guidance as you study.  God will bless your study and show you His truth.** 

Now that you have read the aside regarding Bible Study, let’s get back on topic.  Legalism and judgment are dangerous.  The two combined have pushed many people away from God and the Church.  Over the years, I’ve seen many people whom I love run away from God and the church as soon as they were old enough to do so; and I believe we as brothers and sisters in Christ need to look honestly at ourselves and ask…

• Did I have a part in pushing them away? 
• Did I make them feel that they could never truly be good enough for God? 
• Did my own flawed human “mental accounting” of their Church/Bible Study/Visitation attendance, their commitment to serve in many areas, and their personal growth help them or hurt them?

In his book, The Cost of Discipleship, Dietrich Bonhoeffer (1906-1945) said, “By judging others we blind ourselves to our own evil and to the grace which others are just as entitled to as we are.”   Dietrich Bonhoeffer was a Pastor who stood against the Nazis and their policies, which ultimately led to his imprisonment and death in a concentration camp.  Arguably, he could have judged the Nazis for all the evil they did; but instead, he felt they deserved the same God-given grace that he had received.

Corrie ten Boom (1892-1983), a “righteous Gentile,” who helped hide Jews and Resistance workers from the Nazis, was imprisoned along with her father and sister in a concentration camp; however, she alone survived of the three and went on to write her well-known book–The Hiding Place.  In her book, she recounts how difficult it was to avoid judgment and to forgive the seemingly unforgivable:

 “Even as the angry vengeful thoughts boiled through me, I saw the sin of them. Jesus Christ had died for this man; was I going to ask for more? Lord Jesus, I prayed, forgive me and help me to forgive him….Jesus, I cannot forgive him. Give me your forgiveness….And so I discovered that it is not on our forgiveness any more than on our goodness that the world’s healing hinges, but on His. When He tells us to love our enemies, He gives along with the command, the love itself.”  

Forgiveness, love, and non-judgment were central themes for both of these believers, and I have learned much from their example.

My desire is to look at others as Jesus does–seeing only their humanity, not their faults; seeing only their souls; not their habits; seeing only their needs, not their mistakes.

“Father God, please help me to love people like You do with an open heart and an unending love for all.  Amen.”

**All Scripture is in bold-type and is from the NASB**

“Designing Women”–Using Your Talents & Gifts

Many of the women in the Bible used their creative talents to serve others, to offer encouragement, and to show love in action.  In II Kings 4:8-17, a woman from Shunem, used her creative gifts to bless Elisha by persuading her husband to build an upper room onto their home for Elisha to use when he visited.

Other biblical examples include. . .

• Esther used her talent for hospitality by hosting a banquet in order to save the Jews from destruction (Esther 5-7).
• Mary and Martha used their gifts of hospitality to host Jesus at their home (Luke 10).
• Dorcas used her gifts as a seamstress to provide clothing for people in her community (Acts 9).
• Lydia offered her home to Paul and Silas after they were released from prison (Acts 16).
• Priscilla helped her husband in their tent-making business; she also offered her home to the growing church in her community (Acts 18, Romans 16, & I Corinthians 16).

These “designing women” demonstrated their love and commitment to Christ and to others by using their creative talents to put their faith into action.

Modern life is complicated and fast-paced.  Unfortunately, hospitality and creativity suffer as we feel we do not have enough money, time, or skills to help those around us.  Our Father created us in His image; thus, by nature, we are very creative and gifted.  Each time you demonstrate your talent for art, music, acting, or interior design, you are experiencing the heritage of creativity God placed in your heart.   Remember, every person is uniquely gifted in some area.  You should not compare yourself to others by submitting to the fear of “not being as gifted as ______.”  Challenge yourself to use your areas of strength as you reach out to people around you.

Are you a retired teacher?  Volunteer to tutor struggling readers.  Are you an unemployed skilled worker?  Volunteer to teach your skill to high school students.  Are you a busy parent?  Turn off your phone and play a game with the kids.  Are you shy?  Volunteer to refresh the altar flowers.  Are you good at drawing, playing an instrument, or cooking?  Volunteer at a youth center and inspire the next generation of artists to keep practicing.  Using your creativity will lift your spirit and soothe your soul as you feel closer to the Creator, the original Artist.

“Where Are the Ones Who Used to Come to My Church?”

A Fictional Internal Conversation from a Fictitious Church Member

Where are the ones who used to come to my church?

That couple that sat in the third pew on the right side.  They worked in the pre-k department.

That older man who prayed at the altar nearly every week and passed out bulletins.

That girl who sat with the youth group and served refreshments at the community Holiday parade.

The little boy who always wore a green shirt because it was his favorite color.  His mom was single.

The lady with short white hair who sang alto from the second row of the choir.

That guy who was attending the local college and helped serve bottled water at the city 5-K.

Where are these people?

Have you seen them?

At the grocery store, I ran into the lady who sang in the choir.  I asked her why she quit the choir.  She looked down and kept repositioning the cantaloupe in her basket.  I can’t believe she wouldn’t tell me.  I’ll bet she doesn’t even go to church any more.

I haven’t seen the little boy and his mom since they left the church over a year ago.  Why hasn’t she called?  I never did understand why she didn’t want to come to the Parenting class I was teaching.

I heard that the man who prayed at the altar was diagnosed with cancer.  I’m not really sure what happened to him.  I don’t know why he didn’t ask to be put on the prayer list.

The girl who used to sit with the youth group was mentioned in the “arrests” section of the newspaper last week.  I guess she was not genuine about her faith.

I heard that the local college student quit school after his dad died of a heart attack.  He shouldn’t have let his emotions discourage him.  Doesn’t he remember Romans 8:28?

I saw the couple at the local rec department ball field.  They weren’t sitting together.  The man was holding hands with another woman, while the wife was sitting alone on the opposite end of the bleachers.  I can’t believe they didn’t try to get help from our Pastor before just quitting on their marriage.

Where are these people?

Why did they quit coming to my church?

Don’t they understand that they hurt my feelings when they just walked out of our fellowship?

I wish people would think more before they act.  Church life is so difficult sometimes.  I’m really glad that I’m faithful to my church.           I wouldn’t want to end up like them.

As you experience the loss of fellowship and/or connection with your brothers and sisters in Christ who once attended church with you, please consider the following passages.

• Matthew 7: 1-3 “Do not judge, or you too will be judged.  For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.  Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?” (NIV)
• Luke 18: 9-14 “And He also told this parable to some people who trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and viewed others with contempt:  Two men went up into the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector.  The Pharisee stood and was praying this to himself: ‘God, I thank You that I am not like other people: swindlers, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. ¹² I fast twice a week; I pay tithes of all that I get.’  But the tax collector, standing some distance away, was even unwilling to lift up his eyes to heaven, but was beating his breast, saying, ‘God, be ^[f]merciful to me, the sinner!’   I tell you, this man went to his house justified rather than the other; for everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but he who humbles himself will be exalted.” (NASB)

It hurts when a precious brother or sister in Christ leaves our church or fellowship.  We wonder why.  We get angry.  We start to overanalyze every interaction we had with the person.  We begin walking forward with legitimate concern, then we ride down the slope toward worry, and soon, we stand on our platform and begin to cast judgment.

Our thoughts go something like this:  “Did I do or say something?  Wait, maybe it was something Pastor said, I mean his last sermon series was pretty controversial.  Were they really genuinely sincere in their commitment to Christ?  Did they really mean that “cardboard testimony” they held up in that service a few months ago?  Then, Satan tricks us into making our own ungodly suppositions.  “I always knew she was a hypocrite.  I should have known someone with his background and past couldn’t stick with it.  I was watching her during the candlelight service, and she didn’t really show any emotion.”

Losing these people in our churches is a grieving process.  Unfortunately, we often handle our grief inappropriately, and ride a wave of judgment, suppositions, pride, prejudice, anger, and indignation.  None of these responses is Christ-like.

In the passages you read earlier, Christ reminds us to avoid judging because it brings about serious consequences.  In judging others, we actually judge ourselves.  Our human nature, which is totally self-centered when not reined in by the Holy Spirit, starts to make their leaving “all about us.”  Many times, we forget to consider the “real lives” of the people we knew.  We don’t know what goes on behind the beautiful glass windows, blinds, and shutters of these people’s homes.

Imagine if these were the facts behind the fictional situation at the beginning of this article:  We don’t know that no one called them when they were sick or when their dad passed away.    We don’t know that someone in the choir made critical remarks about their voice or timing.   We don’t know that the boy in the green shirt was bullied by other boys in Sunday School for only wearing green, nor do we know that he always wore green because it was the color his dad was wearing when he left him and his mom 2 years ago.  We don’t remember that the student we are now criticizing used to cut herself.  We don’t know that the college kid who doesn’t come anymore has started drinking again.  We also can’t accept that perhaps that person or family feels called to another ministry, where they will be more effective in sharing what God has done in their life.

Growing up in church, I’ve seen and experienced both negative and positive responses to me and/or my family moving on to a new ministry.  As a child, I didn’t really understand why certain people acted “weird” when they saw us in public.  As an adult, I’ve felt both hurt and loss as rumors and gossip came back to me.  And quite honestly, I’ve jumped on the “judgment treadmill” a few times myself.  This should not be.  My personal experiences and my observations of what has happened to others within the Church are strong indicators that we as the Body of Christ need to search our hearts and test ourselves to discover and uproot our own bitterness and anger.  It often goes back to our out-of-control tongues (Read James 3).  Many times, we take their leaving as a personal slight or attack on our church, and we forget to be empathetic.  Only God knows all the reasons.  We should pray for them, and if we have the opportunity or knowledge of their upcoming leaving, send them off at the last service they attend with a hug, a prayer, a devotion book or new Bible, and our contact information.  If we find out about their departure after they have left, we should still follow-up and do the above.  As cliché as it may sound, in Heaven, you won’t be able to run away from these brothers and sisters in Christ, nor will you want to.  Loving them and encouraging them is what Jesus would have done.  It’s what our Savior expects.

Ephesians 4: 29-32  “Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear.  Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.   Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.  Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.” (NASB)

“Strange Things Are Happening”

Do you remember the song “Strange Things” from the first Toy Story movie?  It’s the song that plays during the montage of how Woody’s life changes when the new toy–Buzz Lightyear–takes over Andy’s room as the coolest toy in town.  Woody feels rejected and alone as he sees all of his friends become so fascinated with Buzz that they ignore him completely.  The scenery of the room changes to “outer space stuff” everywhere.  Consider the lyrics:

“Strange Things”

Written by Randy Newman

I was on top of the world
it was right in my pocket
I was living the life
things were just the way they should be
When from out of the sky like a bomb comes some little punk in a rocket
now all of a sudden some strange things are happening to me

I had friends,
I had lots of friends
Now all my friends are gone
And I’m doing the best I can to carry on

I had power (power)
I was respected (respect)
But not any more
And I’ve lost the love to the one whom I adored

Let me tell you about the strange things are happening to me
Strange things
Strange things are happening to me…
Ain’t no doubt about it

You got someone you think you know well
It turns out a stranger
The minute you turn your back
You’re in it all by yourself

They laugh at your jokes,
You think you’re doing well
But you’re in danger, boy
You end up alone, forgotten, way up on the shelf

Strange things are happening to me
Strange things
Strange things are happening to me
Ain’t no doubt about it

Strange things are happening to me
Strange things
Strange things are happening to me

Strange things (x2)

When I read these lyrics from a spiritual perspective, it reminds me of Peter’s advice to the early Christians who were going through difficult times as they were being persecuted for their faith.  Read I Peter 4:12-19 (emphasis mine)

“Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you: But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ’s sufferings; that, when his glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy.  If ye be reproached for the name of Christ, happy are ye; for the spirit of glory and of God resteth upon you: on their part he is evil spoken of, but on your part he is glorified.  But let none of you suffer as a murderer, or as a thief, or as an evildoer, or as a busybody in other men’s matters.  Yet if any man suffer as a Christian, let him not be ashamed; but let him glorify God on this behalf. For the time is come that judgment must begin at the house of God: and if it first begin at us, what shall the end be of them that obey not the gospel of God?  And if the righteous scarcely be saved, where shall the ungodly and the sinner appear?  Wherefore let them that suffer according to the will of God commit the keeping of their souls to him in well doing, as unto a faithful Creator.” (KJV)

In the NASB, I Peter 4:12 says, “Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal among you, which comes upon you for your testing, as though some strange thing were happening to you; ” (emphasis mine)

This verse is frequently referenced in sermons and books, which deal with facing trying times or circumstances such as:  illness, family issues, job problems, false accusations, financial difficulties, death of a loved one, and spiritual persecution.  I’ve heard this verse quoted so many times over the years all the way back to my childhood in a Christian home, church, and school.  Of course, I didn’t get it until high school, but since then, I’ve endured my own personal share of “strange things” as I am sure you have as well.

There have been so many books written trying to explain or answer our desperate questions as they relate to suffering and the “unfairness” of life.  Our questions range from “Why me?” to “Why not the other guy who doesn’t really love God like I do?”  If we’re truly being honest, some of our questions, asked only in the silence of our minds, are harsh, angry, and judgmental.  We judge God for not treating us “well.”  “Hey, I’m faithful.  I teach small group. I tithe. I set up chairs every week before the service. My family did 3 shoeboxes for OCC this year. My kids are in AWANA.”  We judge non-Christians for not suffering “as much” as we are suffering.  “God, why is my car stalling at every red light when my mean-spirited neighbor, who not-so-subtly brags about his “tax shelters,” has a brand new convertible and is going on a cruise next week.”  We judge fellow brothers and sisters in Christ for their “perfect” lives.  “Lord, why do the Youth Pastor and his wife have six beautiful children and a great life when we can’t even get pregnant and we’re fighting all the time.” We judge the people in the Bible by our own modern standards.  “Look God, things weren’t like this back in the Old Testament.  I mean, those guys didn’t have to watch their daughter being bullied on Facebook or attacked on Twitter.  My daughter cries everyday, and why can’t You do some Old Testament thing like open the concrete at her school and swallow up the cyber-bullies?”

We’re hurting.  It’s okay to ask these and other questions.  Based on all the biblical evidence and principles, it’s okay to be angry when you’ve been hurt and/or when your life is falling apart (see Job, David, and any of the prophets).  Job questions God chapter after chapter as he sits there covered in sores surrounded by his judgmental friends.  David shows strong evidence of being clinically depressed in many of the Psalms as he begs God for help to fight off both his external enemies of his kingdom and the internal enemies within his own family.

I’ve had moments where I’ve screamed, beat on a pillow, and once, when I was really upset and frustrated about all the trials that were literally hitting me from every direction; I went out into the woods and beat a dead tree with an old shower curtain rod until the tree broke in half (Don’t stop reading; no one was hurt, and the tree was dead). I’ve scribbled in journals with both words, long paragraphs, and mindless doodles.  I believe it’s important to let the anger go since the Bible’s teaching on anger is that it’s okay to be angry; it’s not okay to sin because you’re angry.  Ephesians 4:26 states, “Be angry, and do not sin: do not let the sun go down upon your wrath,” (NKJV).

It’s not going to be easy to get through the trials you are facing now.  You will come out with some scars, bruises, and pain; however, you will survive.  Scroll back up to the song “Strange Things,” and read it again.  I love Toy Story.  The trilogy is one of the best series ever made, and the first movie, is one of my all-time favorites.  I even dressed up like Jessie, the yodeling cowgirl, for a skit at church one Sunday morning.

I look at the song “Strange Things” in a totally different light than I did when I saw the first movie as a recent high-school grad.  I see the song as a perfect metaphor for our reflex response to the “strange things” which come our way on our life’s journey.  If you’ve seen Toy Story,  you may remember that, in the end, Buzz and Woody become best friends; and each of them has accepted that they are loved by their owner and by their friends regardless of how “strange” things become.  In Toy Story 3, both Buzz and Woody face, and eventually accept, that painful changes may come, but the end result can have surprising and wonderful results (see Romans 8:28).  In a much more profound and magnificent way, you and I are loved by our Creator.  His love will never change.  Unlike the toys in the Toy Story trilogy, He won’t donate us to a thrift store, sell us at a yard sale, or give us away to someone else, when He’s “outgrown” us.   In fact, just as both Woody and Buzz have “Andy” written on the bottom of their feet, as a sign of ownership, possession, and love; so to do all Christians.  The names of all those people who have put their faith and trust in Christ are written in the Lamb’s Book of Life (see Revelation 13).  Luke 10:20b says, “but rejoice that your names are written in Heaven.” (ESV).

There are sometimes “bad guys,”  like Sid in the first Toy Story film, or terrible circumstances that seem to enjoy taking us down, destroying us, or metaphorically, strapping us to a rocket, as is Buzz’s fate.  We will survive.  We will go on.  It is up to us to decide if we thrive.  Are you going to stay angry and hide under the bed like Woody did or are you going to brave each day, each move (Andy moves twice in the trilogy), and each moment that is not what you expect and most of the time, certainly not exactly what you want?  In Toy Story 3, the main characters/toys, literally face a “fiery trial” as they are nearly incinerated at the landfill, yet they are saved.  They come out stinky, smoky, and not quite as pretty as they were, but they make it; and they later realize that they are still loved very much.

Back to the real world of trials, I keep going though the trials continue to ebb and flow. I may have to go find another old shower curtain rod at some point, but I’m not quitting. I know that I’m loved, that I’m precious to God, that I’m worth dying for, and that I’m accepted.  God loves you so much.  I can’t explain why this trial is happening to you right now, but I encourage to trust, not that it all work out how you want it to, but that God will work it out for His glory and for your personal growth.  One of my favorite Bible professors in college taught that God allows everything for a “purpose” not a “reason.”  Over the years, so many well-meaning people have said to me, “God has a reason for this.”  My professor said that “a reason for it” is the wrong way to look at it.  He said “a purpose” implies much more.  He went so far as to correct all of his students when we would say, “God had a reason.”  He would hold up one finger, and say, “No, God has a purpose.”  His teaching changed my perspective, and I now humbly correct my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ when the opportunity is appropriate.  I want them to feel the freedom I’ve felt since embracing “God’s purpose” over “God’s reason” for something happening in both my and others’ lives.

The next time, a trial starts in your life or even now, as you are facing a trial, sing the chorus of “Strange Things.”

Strange things are happening to me
Strange things
Strange things are happening to me
Ain’t no doubt about it

After that, follow it up with by reading or quoting all the Scriptures you can find regarding trials, temptations, fear, and anxiety.  Then, finish up, by singing your favorite hymns and spiritual songs.  “Google” Christian songs about fear and trials until you find some new songs to add to your repertoire. Learn these new songs.  Be prepared to face what’s coming.  Do not let the “strange things” take you down.  If all else fails, pick up your foot and look at the bottom of your shoe or bare foot and envision the names of God and Jesus written across it.  You are His child; His heir. You belong.

“Because you are sons, God has sent forth the Spirit of His Son into our hearts, crying, “Abba! Father!”  Therefore you are no longer a slave, but a son; and if a son, then an heir through God.” Galatians 4: 6-7 (NASB)

“But I am like an olive tree flourishing in the house of God; I trust in God’s unfailing love for ever and ever.” Psalm 52:8 (NIV)

Money Has Always Been an Issue

Money, oh boy, the word alone brings up a lot of strong feelings-both positive and negative.  As my American readers can attest, money and the lack of it is one of the most complex and frustrating issues families are facing each day this year.  Have things been better?  Yes, definitely!   But, have they been worse?  Yes, positively!

Consider the following facts about American life in 1973 . . .

In October 1973, the Oil Crisis began, with oil prices jumping from $3 a barrel to $12 per barrel.  The crisis lasted until 1974, and during this time, oil prices quadrupled (businessinsider.com & bancroft.berkeley.edu). Minimum wage was $1.60 (www.dol.gov). Unemployment was 5.6%.  A gallon of gas cost 39 cents, a dozen eggs cost 78 cents, and a gallon of milk cost $1.21.  A new home cost a little over $35,000 (1970sflashback.com). So, for one hour’s labor, you could buy a little over 4 gallons of gas or 2 dozen eggs or 1 gallon of milk.  Even working 40 hours a week, you would only make $64, which didn’t go very far with the average costs of goods and services in 1973.  If you made $256 a month and you had a $35,000 mortgage, your monthly payment was around $97; thus, you would have only $159 to pay all of your other expenses.

I won’t torture you by listing all of the statistics for 2013 as you are living with the impact of them in real life and seeing the numbers only causes further discouragement.  Looking back throughout human history, we must remember that money has always been an issue to some extent for every generation all the way back to biblical times.  Even if a civilization’s economic system was trade-based, there were always issues and events, which caused shortages of some kind: environmental events, which killed crops, causing people and animals to starve, health crises, which caused many people to die; thus, depleting the workforce and bankrupting families, who had no reserves to survive a time where multiple family members could not work, and government issues, which involved everything from raising taxes to enlisting nearly all the men to fight for the nation.

Perhaps, it would help all of us who are struggling with severe economic challenges, job loss, or under-employment, as am I, to remember that money issues are part of the human experience.

What do all of these famous and/or historically significant people have in common?

• Buffalo Bill Cody
• Debbie Reynolds
• Samuel L. Clemens (Mark Twain)
• Dorothy Hamill
• Tom Petty
• Walt Disney
• Mike Tyson
• President Ulysses S. Grant
• Stan Lee

All of these people filed bankruptcy at some point in their lives (angelfire.com) Does this “failure” on their part outweigh all of their accomplishments?  Are we going to stop reading Tom Sawyer or Spiderman because their authors had serious financial problems?  Will we never enjoy Disney World or Disney films again because Walt filed bankruptcy early in his career?  Will we ignore the talents of world champion athletes, actors, performers, and generals because they drowned financially?  I hope you have answered no to all of the above questions.  Give yourself a break!  If great men and women can file bankruptcy, survive embarrassment, get their names into history books, and have Face book fan pages in 2013, then you can survive and overcome the financial setbacks you are experiencing.

Lastly, we must look at the only perfect person to ever live–Jesus Christ.  Jesus Christ was not born into a wealthy or prestigious family.  He was born to Mary, a virgin, who was nearly disgraced for being pregnant and unmarried (Luke 1: 26-35). His stepfather, Joseph was a carpenter (Matthew 13:55).  Jesus and his family lived in Nazareth, an area looked down upon by many of his contemporaries (John 1:45-46).

Jesus’ humble birth, family, and lifestyle caused many religious and political leaders to question His claim to be the Son of God.  Many people could not understand why He was not more interested in wealth, power, or prestige.  Even Satan, specifically targeted Jesus by tempting Him to demonstrate His power and to become the Ruler of the World (Matthew 4).  Jesus understood all of the plights of humanity; thus, He was aware of the challenges of dealing with money, and when He was teaching, He offered advice and encouragement frequently.  For example, He spent time with those who didn’t have much money (Luke 21). He spoke strongly against being greedy or selfish with one’s wealth (Mark 10 & John 2). He comforted His disciples by telling them not to worry about their basic needs since God would provide for them (Luke 12). He reminded His listeners to pay their taxes even when they did not like the government system that was in place (Luke 20). He fed 5,000 hungry people through one of His most memorable miracles–the only miracle to appear in all 4 Gospels (Matthew 14, Mark 6, Luke 9, and John 6).

Do not be discouraged as you find yourself in the serious financial challenges brought on by a difficult economy.  Jesus admonished the disciples to “Consider the lilies” in Luke 12:27-28.  He reminded them that the lilies do not work to be beautiful; thus, if God takes care of the lilies, which die quickly and are thrown into the fire, “How much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith?”

God loves you.  He sent His Son Jesus to offer you eternal provision for your soul (John 3:16). Today, you may be worrying about paying for the mortgage, the car insurance, or the kids’ school lunches. But if Jesus Christ is the Lord of your heart, you can have a security that no mortgage lender, bank, insurance policy, or credit card company can ever destroy.  You may not be able to “fix” all of the money problems you are having, but you can know that God is watching out for you every moment of every day.

I chose Jesus as the center of my life many years ago.  I cannot describe the peace that I have since I gave Him my heart, soul, and will.  He has helped me through so many difficult times (financial struggles, divorce, health issues, depression/anxiety, family challenges, serious illnesses of family members, work situations, and the death of family members,) I may not have understood then or now why so many challenges have come and are currently coming my way, but I know that God had and has a purpose for each one.  I encourage you to have faith as you pay each bill,  as you pay only $25 toward your student loan, as you buy groceries with a giant folder of coupons, as you replace your child’s backpack with a used one from a thrift store, or as you start making layaway payments toward the toys on your kids’ wish lists.  Pray as you “click” submit when you pay your bills online.  Pray before you even open the electric bill in January.  God knows your need.  He knows where you are at that moment.  He even knows the amount due right down to the nickels and dimes.

My faith has been strengthened so much by going through these trying times.  It’s not easy, as I can attest myself, since I am currently seeking a better and more permanent job than Substitute Teaching (County budget issues have sent me back to the Sub list twice and, for the moment, I’m writing for free); however, I know that if God sees sparrows fall and watches lilies fade and die, and yet come back again in the spring and summer; He is definitely going to take care of me.  May God bless you as you seek Him to give you strength to face any and all financial challenges, which come your way!  Proverbs 3:5-6

Zombie Follower? Check. Vampire Follower? Check. Christ Follower? Check???

I’ll admit it.  I follow all 3, but not in the order mentioned above.  As a writer, who happens to be a Christian, I follow Jesus Christ first.  He is the One, whom I owe my life to and whom I worship and adore.  As an American girl, born in the awkward transition between Generation X and Y, although technically, I’m Gen Y, I love film, television, and pop culture.  In it, I find the true barometer of where we are as a culture.  I’m fascinated by all the sophisticated serial-drama that has been made recently and/or is being made currently.  I love to peruse many of the amazing, super-natural, Sci-Fi films, YA books, and TV shows that have come out in the last 10 years or so.  But, two things I’ve really enjoyed are Zombie shows and films and The Twilight books and films.

I particularly love The Walking Dead, but I also love the films–Zombieland (2009), Dawn of the Dead (2004), I Am Legend (2007), and most recently, World War Z (2013).  According to Time.com, The Walking Dead is the most popular cable show ever and set a record when its recent season premiere brought in 16.1 million viewers.  With the follow-up show, Talking Dead, the original graphic novels, toys, costumes, and social media followers numbering in the millions; it’s safe to say, that we, as a culture, are Zombie Followers.

In the past few years, I’ve worked as both a middle and high school Literature teacher; thus, I felt I had to read and watch The Twilight series.  The first book was not my favorite—too gushy, mushy, over-the-top obsession with one boy; however, I liked the series as I read further.  Overall, I enjoyed the films as well.  It was also a lot of fun to be able to talk to my students about the characters and to use the books and films to examine, teach, and compare literary archetypes, sacrificial love in literature throughout history, and the elements of great storytelling.  With the 4 films in the Twilight franchise world-wide gross exceeding 3.3 billion (boxofficemojo.com), it would not be overstating it to say that we, as a culture, are Vampire Followers.

My question is “why?”  Why are we so fascinated with these undead or un-aging or eternal or nearly-unkillable beings?  I’ve examined my own heart to try to understand my motivation for never missing an episode of Walking Dead.  Why do I read about the TWD when it comes across my social media feed? Why am I and so many other people posting, tweeting, and story-syncing while watching the show. Why are there so many Zombie 5-Ks?  And were just talking about Zombies. What about all the people who have Vampire tattoos, who have their teeth-filed to look like vampire teeth, or who have Twilight-style weddings?  What about all the people who avidly follow all the vampire movies, TV shows, and novels that are pouring out of Hollywood and the presses of New York?

I have come to the conclusion that in these characters, we are able to explore our deepest questions about life:  Is it possible to live forever?  What happens after I’m dead? Would I survive if there were an apocalypse?  If it came to down to me or the “other guy” dying, would I sacrifice myself for him or her? Would someone die, so I could live?  Can my deepest fears become reality?  Can I cheat death?  In the end, will I be left alone to face a hostile world that doesn’t care?  Who will remember me when I’m gone?

Toward the beginning of this article, I mentioned that I’m first-off a Christ Follower.  This means I have placed my trust in Jesus Christ, who sacrificed Himself on the cross, so that not only me, but also all humans could have the opportunity to live with Him in Heaven forever.  This means that I believe 100% of the Bible is true, real, accurate, and complete; and that the Bible is a guidebook for humanity, not only telling us how to live successful, fulfilled lives; but also in answering all of the questions our hearts ask when we are being truly honest with ourselves.

Are we eternal beings?  Yes, Genesis 1:27 tells us that we were “created in the image of God.”  God is eternal; therefore, we are eternal.  We will live forever.  It is up to us to choose where we will spend eternity.  Would someone die for me?  Yes, John 3:16-17 explains that Jesus came into the world to die for all humanity in order to give all people the opportunity to spend eternity with Him in Heaven.  Verse 17 says that Christ didn’t come “to condemn the world . . . but to save it.”   Can I cheat death?  Sort of, Hebrews 9:27 says that “each person is destined to die,” so yes, you will die; however, you won’t stay dead.  Spoiler Alert:  Just as anyone who dies in Walking Dead comes back to life in an altered form, so will you.  You won’t be the same as you were on earth nor will you be a grunting, foot-dragging, one-track-mind, Zombie; however, you will be “judged.”  Hebrews 9: 27 goes on to say that after your death, you will be judged.  Were you a Christ Follower or were you the Follower of something or someone else?  Perhaps, you followed your own whims and desires.  Perhaps, you believed in mysticism.  Perhaps, you tried to be good enough all the time, so that you could be given sanctuary in Heaven or some other awesome place after you were gone from this Earth.  Romans 5:8 tells us that “Christ died for us.”  Christ is the ultimate Hero.  He is the only person in History to ever actually cheat death and live to tell about it (see John chapter 20 and 21).  Christ, the son of the Only, High God, died for you.  He loves you.  He is better than any leader in any Zombie apocalypse.  He is greater than any powerful Vampire.  He cannot be killed.  Most importantly, he wants you to join His “group.”  If you’re familiar with the Zombie/Vampire genre, people are always either “in or out.”  You have to be “worthy.”  You have to prove yourself to be “in.”  The group asks, “what skills can you bring to our survival group to help keep us alive?”  According to Christ, you are already “in.”  You don’t have to prove anything in God’s group of “survivors.”  And the best thing is, no matter what you ever did or ever do, you will always be “in.”  Being part of God’s and Jesus’ family ensures your acceptance into the ultimate safe place—Heaven.  How do I join this family?  You don’t have to answer Rick’s 3 questions from The Walking Dead.  You don’t have to promise the vampire family that you won’t tell their secrets to the rest of the town.  All you have to do is place your faith in Christ.  Believe that Christ is the Son of God.  Believe that He came and died for you.  Believe that Jesus would have died on the cross if you were the only person He could save.  Believe that He will take you to Heaven when you die, and that even now, He is preparing a place for you (see John 14:1-6).  Here is all you have to do according to Romans 10:9 “because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved” (ESV).  Christ wants to be the Leader of your life.  He will be your ultimate protector in every situation.  He will give you freedom from anything that is weighing you down, ruining your life, or holding you back.  He’s better than Walking Dead’s Daryl and Rick combined.  He’s mightier than Twilight‘s Edward Cullen and Dr. Carlisle Cullen put together.  Dracula has got nothing on Christ.  No Zombie horde could ever defeat Christ.  Although these are fictional characters, I hope you get my point.  I love heroes.  I want to see them win.  The difference for me is I found my ultimate Hero.  His name is Jesus, and he’s waiting to meet you.  Will you introduce yourself to Him?

4 Practical Tips for Battling the Giants of Depression and Anxiety

Let’s be honest.  Depression and Anxiety are awful.  Do you sometimes feel like they have you in a never-ending “headlock,” where crying “uncle” is not an option?  Depression and Anxiety are like a dysfunctional couple that won’t break up.  They are like 2 dogs that howl all night the day before your big meeting.  They are like a pair of tractor trailers that are blocking your passage into the fast lane for miles and miles and miles and miles….  They are like the arguing trolls in The Hobbit, who argue so long, that they forget to go back to their cave before daylight and are turned to stone.  Too obscure of a reference?  Okay, enough with the metaphor and simile–choose the one that you can relate to and strap on your imaginary tool belt as you arm yourself with these practical tips to combat these 2 evil giants.

1.  Use Scriptures from the Bible, which deal with anxiety, fear, worry, and depression.

• Memorize verses by writing them on note cards and carrying them in your wallet or purse.  Study them while you are waiting in the car line, at the doctor, or at your child’s practice.
• Make or print off cards with your favorite verses on them.  Place them inside your kitchen cabinets, on your fridge, and next to the mirror where you get ready each day.  I’ve been doing this for years, and these visual reminders of God’s love have helped through many rough days just because they were literally “there” when I needed them most.
• Read the book of Proverbs each month.  Proverbs was written by the wisest man who ever lived–King Solomon.  The book is full of wisdom sayings and advice for dealing with various situations.  Proverbs has been a precious book to both Christians and Jews for centuries.  When I was a child, I heard a teacher say that God tailor-made Proverbs for daily reading every month because it has 31 chapters.  Proverbs offers a daily routine to combat those Giants.
• Sing.  Colossians 3:16 says to “speak to yourself in psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs.”  Singing songs that are directly taken from God’s Word will bless you in the very core of your soul.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve sang hymns in the worst-sounding, croaking, broken-hearted voice when I was dealing with the really painful parts of life–the death of loved ones, a family member’s serious illness, the pain of divorce, or any type of loss.
• Here are a few of my “Go-to” verses when I need to pull out my “arsenal” to fight back against the giants of Depression & Anxiety:  Isaiah 41:10 & 13; Philippians 4: 6, 7; II Timothy 1:7; Deuteronomy 31:6; I Peter 5:6-7; Psalm 34:4; I John 4:18; Matthew 6:25-27; Proverbs 12:25; Isaiah 26:3.   This list will get you started.  Now go get some lined index cards and start writing!

2.  Journal or Blog.

• Buy a lined notebook of your preference.  For some reason, it helps if the notebook or journal really shows off your personality or makes you smile when you see it.  Blurt it all out on paper or create a “diary” of sorts in MS Word where you can write all the things you are feeling both good and bad.  The paper can’t criticize you for your feelings or tell you not to talk.  The paper also can’t tweet what you wrote back out into the universe.  *Whether you use actual paper or a computer, make sure you keep it where you will feel safe.  Put your journal in a place only you know about.  Burn the whole thing or certain pages whenever you want.  If you use a computer for your thoughts, put a password on it.
• Blogging is a great way to hone your secret writing talents.  You can sign up for a free blog right here on WordPress.  It’s a wonderful way to connect with other people who share your same interests and beliefs as you can put “tags” at the end of each blog entry, which help people find you.  Blogging can be very therapeutic as you can share the little lessons life teaches you every day.  It also helps encourage your soul as you know that you may have just helped someone through an awful day, made someone laugh, or encouraged them not to give up on their dreams.  *Just remember, the blog is public.  Don’t write things on a blog that you don’t want your boss, in-laws, or neighbors to see.

3.  Take a Walk and Get Some Sun.

• Many studies have shown the positive effects that sunlight has on boosting the mood-lifting chemical serotonin in our brains.  Getting some natural sun every day not only helps lift your mood as it stimulates your brain to produce serotonin but also increases your Vitamin D levels.

Sources:

          Journal of Affective Disorders.  Vol. 40, Iss. 1-2.  September 1996.  “Sunny Hospital Rooms Expedite Recovery     From Severe and Refractory Depressions.” K. Beauchemin & P. Hays.

http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/news/20021205/unraveling-suns-role-in-depression.

• Many studies have also shown that exercise, such as walking, can be as beneficial for some people as taking an anti-depressant.  Walking increases the blood flow to your brain, which helps your brain to function better.

Source:

http://www.bostonmagazine.com/want-to-improve-your-mood-go-for-a-walk/

4.  Play with your Pets, or if you don’t have a pet, adopt one!

• Many doctors, hospitals, and universities have completed studies showing the correlation between spending time with pets and increased improvement in both mental and physical health.  Check out the link below for an excellent article, which shares “6 Ways Pets Relieve Depression.”

http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/05/19/6-ways-pets-relieve-depression/

With God’s help, you can fight off the Giants of Depression and Anxiety which plague you.  For some of us, like me, it is a daily battle. I have found that I must rely on God each day to help me overcome my PTSD and anxiety. For others, it may be an occasional occurrence brought on by a traumatic life event.  In either case, I encourage you to seek professional help for dealing with your mental health.  There is no shame in admitting that you need help or that you can no longer handle your problems on your own anymore. Seek out a counselor, psychiatrist, or psychologist who operates a faith-based practice which aligns with your personal beliefs.  Focus on the Family has an excellent Christian counseling referral source at http://www.focusonthefamily.com/lifechallenges/articles/consider_counseling.aspx.  There is no shame in seeing a counselor and talking openly and honestly about your innermost thoughts.  My counselors have been some of the greatest helps I’ve ever had in my life.  They have both taught me and assisted me on my continual journey toward well-being and healthy thought patterns.

These tips are culled from my own experiences battling depression and anxiety, from the counselors and therapy groups, which have helped me; and from the reading I have done on the subject.  Read, Read, Read.  Education is Power, as the old saying goes.  The more you know about an illness; the better you know how to treat it.  Don’t try to self-diagnose.  Go to a professional for that, but once you know what you’re facing, become an “expert” on that mental health issue.  You will feel stronger just by knowing what it is, what may cause it, whether or not it’s hereditary, etc.  The more you know about mental health; the more you’ll grow toward wholeness.  Now, put on your tool belt and go out and start building a fortress to fend off those Giants.  You’ll recognize them when they’re after you–just look for the ugly monsters who keep trying to whisper lies in your ears.

II Timothy 1:7 “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.”

Is It Okay to Pray For Wisdom?

I wrote this for people to pray for themselves or to pray over someone else.  I hope it blesses your life.

“A Prayer/Blessing for Wisdom”

May God nurture you to develop the wisdom to discern the difference between what is true and what you wish was true.

May God guide you toward wise decisions in your choice of friends and confidantes.

May God purify your desires and lead you toward only those people, places, and things which help you maintain the best course toward your life goals.

May God give you the perseverance to defeat negativity when it tries to block your path.

May God endow you with foresight as you study His Word–the Bible.

May God provide you with courage to live a life people will remember with joy rather than sadness.

May God furnish you with gifts and talents, which allow you to decorate the lives of those around you with the wisdom that you gain both through His Word and through your own experiences.

This prayer was inspired by James 1:5  “But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him.” NASB

A Poem & Musings About My Brother, Who Happens to Have Down syndrome

“Little Blonde Boy” 

Little boy blonde and curly, did they tell you that you were early?

Did they tell you how I prayed, waited, hoping, night and day?

Did they tell you of the notes hiding in their winter coats?

Did they tell you of letters by the scores peeping out from kitchen drawers?

Did they tell you of the birthday card filled with tidings spread abroad?

Did they tell you of the shopping, momma and sister baby store hopping?

Did they tell you of the hot, fall day when you took sweet momma’s breath away?

Did they tell you of the midnight ride bringing your siblings to your side?

Did they tell you when I held you; tears fell on your blanket, as I smelled you?

Did they tell you that you were small, weighing in at nothing at all?

Did they tell when we took you home how the sun so brightly shone?

Did they tell you of your fingers tiny, big, blue eyes so bright and shiny?

Did they tell you how you restored my faith, took me to a deeper place?

Did they tell you all you’ve done for many other beloved ones?

Did they tell you how you touched lives around you so very much?

Did they tell you how you are God’s precious lamb, fashioned by the great I Am?

Did they tell when you came that none of us will ever be the same?

For when God sent you one month early, I now see that you weren’t early, you were on time.

Musings on My Amazing Brother Nathan, who is the subject of the above poem

My brother Nathan has Down syndrome. At the time of this piece, Nathan is 17 years old and is in high school. When he was born, I was 17 years old and in high school. We have had a wonderful and intense journey together so far. He has brought so much joy into both my life and into the lives of my family and friends. Being his big sister has taught me so many things about life. I love you, Nathan.

People with Down syndrome are each unique human beings. Physically, people with Down syndrome may share some recognizable traits; however, they are still individual people with a variety of personalities, abilities, and gifts. Contrary to what everyone always says to me, people with Down syndrome are not always sweet and loving. They have both good days and bad days just like the rest of the members of the human race. Any person can be sweet and loving . . . until someone messes with them or upsets them. People with Down syndrome have things they enjoy and things they strongly dislike. There are songs, singers, and shows they hate; and there are places, bands, and movies they love. They live, work, walk, worship, sing, dance, and laugh among the rest of us. They have the greatest gift of all–little to no prejudice toward others.

My brother Nathan has unconditionally loved the people around him since he was a tiny baby. He has smiled at and comforted people who look different to us–people who are old, sick, poor, handicapped, and who have skin that is a different color than our own. Nathan doesn’t watch the news. He doesn’t worry about the results of elections; tragic local, national, and global events; the latest celebrity whose life is falling apart much to the “enjoyment” of the public; or what is going to happen tomorrow. He doesn’t yell at slow drivers, complain about bad service, gripe about waiting in the doctor’s office, or intensely defend his position on why someone else is wrong. He doesn’t walk the halls of his school judging his peers by their weight, height, shoes, cars, or athletic abilities. He doesn’t attend church merely to impress someone else, check it off his “to do” list; keep God from being angry at him, or to find something to criticize in the sermon. He never demands his rights, files a complaint, or retains a lawyer. He doesn’t worry about his high school test scores, talk badly about his teachers, fret over what people think about his intelligence, or try to figure out who is talking badly about him on Facebook.

Nathan does a lot and knows a lot. He loves. He smiles. He laughs. He knows the songs on all his favorite CDs and “asks” (demands) that they be played in an order known only to him. He knows all the dialogue in his favorite movies–The Sound of Music and Mary Poppins. He loves to go to the fair and ride a burlap bag down the big yellow slide. He loves to go bowling with the Special Olympics. He loves swimming. He loves to stay in motels and to visit new places and restaurants. He loves going to the beach. He participates in a Fishing Rodeo every year. He has a long list of favorite foods and favorite restaurants. He enjoys church and responds to the pastor when he preaches by saying “Yes!” emphatically. Nathan loves long walks around his neighborhood and sitting on the porch swing and singing with my mom. He loves his teachers and parapros and his school. He loves to go on Field Trips. He loves to visit me at my house, and he loves to ride in my car–just me and him. He loves for me to read aloud to him, especially the books he has loved since he was in pre-k. He loves opening presents on his birthday and at Christmas. He loves to blow out his own candles and help others blow out their candles when it’s their birthday. Nathan loves and lives and keeps going each and every day regardless of what is happening around the globe. Even after facing the consequences of a severely debilitating stroke when he was 13 and having to fight not only to be able to walk again but also to be able to eat and swallow liquids and solids, he overcame all the challenges. Even after fighting so hard to recover from his stroke, he still gets up every morning, most days without any prompting, and excitedly faces the world.

Nathan is never ashamed of who he is, where he comes from, who he’s related to, or Who created him.

Many people try to emulate those with money, power, and prestige, but maybe it would be better if they looked at people like my brother Nathan and realized that if they truly want to be great. . . they could learn a lot by watching the way he lives his life.

Each day, Nathan’s life reminds me to be grateful for who I am, where I am, who I love, and who loves me, to love the people around me, and to never give up regardless of how hard things may be. Thank you Nathan for being a great teacher.

*UPDATE*

In 2013, I founded an online support group on Facebook for siblings of individuals with differing or special needs.

Special Bond: Celebrate Your Special Needs Sibling is a support/advocacy group for siblings of all ages who have siblings who have special needs or who are “differently abled.” In this group, we celebrate the Special Bond, which occurs when a child or young adult is given the gift of a special needs sibling. We share encouragement, prayer, stories of triumph and success, suggestions for coping skills, suggested reading, suggested conferences, and all the not-so-small victories our precious brothers and sisters accomplish with the help of our very dedicated and frequently exhausted parents. Our group looks forward to sharing our experiences and support regarding the special bond between special needs siblings and their “typical” counterparts. We welcome siblings of all ages, so those who have gained wisdom from years of experience may encourage those who are new to the Special Bond. Parents of children/teens who are not on Facebook are encouraged to join on their behalf of their children.